The full story

Together we stand, united in our love for each other and held together by the love of our family and friends and our Heavenly Father.


Well, we never thought we'd be starting a blog - and definitely never thought we'd be doing it to share this type of news with you all.  As most of you have heard by now, Wayne has been diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer which has already metastasized to his bones and lymph glands.

 I'd say I'll back up now and start at the beginning, but no one really knows when the beginning was.  He has never had any real symptoms of anything related to his prostate.  Around the end of November, he had a bad flu and lost a few pounds with it - nothing unusual.  Around that time as well, he was starting to have more pain in his knees - also nothing unusual for him with his type of work and the change in weather.  Just figured he's getting a little older, and feeling things a little more, so took some more over the counter pain/arthritis meds.  The pain didn't ease up, and started in his hips and back as well - also nothing new for him, so went in to see our amazing neighbor physiotherapist.  That seemed to help for a bit, but soon the pain was becoming unbearable - not able to sleep at night, no appetite, and no energy.  He still continued to work as he was able.  He got in to see a doctor at the after hours clinic, she ordered some better drugs, blood work and x-rays, by this time it was a few days till Christmas.
We received some concerning blood work back on the afternoon of Friday Dec 23rd.  [for my medical professional friends - alk phos was just under 3000].  The dr. wanted an urgent MRI done, but with the holidays that didn't happen.  We knew something was up, but Wayne wanted to wait till after Christmas to go in to the hospital [not that it would have made any difference at that point], and we were able to have Christmas with our family and friends.  The morning of Dec 27th I finally convinced Wayne to let me bring him to emerg - whenever the nurses would ask "what brought you in to emerg today", he would quickly reply "my wife!"  Bloodwork and x-rays done quickly, there was a spot found on one of his ribs, and in the abdomen.  STOP - this is not what we were thinking, this must be wrong!!!
  The staff in emerg were great - so much love and support and tears and hugs, I was so happy that most of the nurses on that day were familiar faces and friends!  Then step in the amazing staff from the floor I work, who quickly arranged for a bed for Wayne on our floor.  As well we were blessed to have one of our most thorough and thoughtful internists take on his case.  Dr Becks quickly assessed him and tried his "best to try and find another reason for all this".  The bone scan and full body cat scan were scheduled for the next day - we tried to pray our hardest for positive results, but prayers were hard to come by with so much going through our minds.  We had lots of prayers going up for us from our family, friends and prayer groups though!
 Unfortunately, good results were not meant to be - the bone scan showed "innumerable sites throughout the skeleton - diffuse metastatic disease with a large tumor burden",  the CT also confirmed this as well as several enlarged lymph nodes in the abdomen.  NO, STOP again, not what we want to hear!!
 We were  quickly able to see Dr Anjum, the oncologist and Dr Middlebrook, the urologist - blessed once again, by two very amazing physicians.  Their kindness and compassion were overwhelming. They assured us that they would do everything they could to make Wayne more comfortable, and get him more time.   The next big step was the PSA results, normal for men would be under 20, our oncologist had said she would be happy to see it under 300 - the next point to send up prayers for.  We received the results the next day, Wayne's PSA was just under 4000 - OK, NO MORE, this is too much!!!   We were bracing for the doctors to say go home and get your affairs in order.  no, this can't be real.  
All the medical professionals stepped in very quickly.  He started treatment even before the PSA came back.  He is on an oral anti neoplastic pill which will hopefully slow the progress of the cancer, and they assured him it would help him feel much better too. [ Surgery, radiation or chemo are not an option at this point of the disease process.] They got prescriptions started to cover any anticipated side effect / symptom he would have, so that we could get home and keep him comfortable.  Our dietician gave us lots of instruction and samples to try and get his weight and strength back up [by then he had lost 20 lbs.].  Social work spoke with us, and Dr Huff was consulted to pain management/control.  And needless to say we were surrounded by the love, support and hugs from all our friends on my unit [Being there almost 20 years, Wayne has gotten to know quite a few of my amazing co-workers too!] 
We were also extremely blessed to have our niece Rachel Heyns come and help us with how to tell our children [especially Brian - how do you tell your 9 year old son his Dad has cancer that they can't fix].  Rachel is a 'child life specialist' that works with sick children at McMaster hospital, we were soooo blessed by her insight and faith, words cannot express how thankful we are for her help.
We made it home Friday Dec 30th, it was very hard on Wayne - still in pain, and generally feeling like crap, but it was so good to be home all together.  That evening when Wayne was feeling better we sat the kids down and had our talk [with Rachel's help].  As hard as it was, we did feel a certain peace afterwards.  Brian's reaction was as expected, not able to process much of it.  Rachel assured us this was normal for his age, and he will process things in little bits in his own time. 

So here we are now, one day at a time.  Wayne wakes up every morning, smiles at me and says "another day together".  He is having less pain, only needing breakthrough meds a couple times a day.  He is trying his best to eat lots of calorie/protein rich food [but unfortunately is still losing weight].  He rests lots, but is up sitting more that a couple days ago!  We are trying to keep things as normal as possible for our amazing children.  Its been good to have them all home this week yet, thankful for that.  Brian has a wonderful group of school friends/ hockey gang/cousins, who have been keeping him entertained!  Our girls are also blessed to have such close family/friends/cousins/boyfriends to support them as well.  Jessica is home now from college for a 4 month co-op term, another thing we are thankful for.  Vanessa is finishing off her extremely heavy semester this month, praying things go smoothly for her the next couple weeks, than her work load will be a little better too.

We wanted to do this 'blog' thing to keep you all 'in the loop' with where we're at, but also to let you know what prayer needs we have.  The doctors are holding off on any type of prognosis till they have a few more results.  Wayne does have to go for a biopsy of the prostate yet - it will not change any treatment, but will "grade" the cancer, giving them more of an idea for prognosis.  As well, we have a follow up appointment and blood work Jan 27. The results of the blood work will let us know if the treatment is working or not.  Definitely praying hard for positive results for those two tests!  Pray for continued strength and pain control for Wayne, and for a peace that only God can give.  Also we ask that you lift up our children, Wayne's parents and siblings, and our extended family as we all deal with this new reality.  Some times we can be so strong, and smile and laugh together and sometimes this horrible, harsh reality hits and the tears flow and the stomach knots up - praying for that peace for us all.

Above all, we wanted to write this to say our thanks.  We are completely overwhelmed by the love and support from so many people.  Our hearts and freezer and cupboards runneth over!!  I know I have appreciated each meal [I always have said my favorite meal is one I don't cook! :P]. Every note/message/email fills our hearts, even though we may not respond to each one, just know how much we appreciate hearing from you all.  We have been so blessed from so many - our family, and extended family, friends, neighbors, our co-workers and employers,  and church family - thank you all so much.

We'll keep trying to keep you posted.

With all our love,
Wayne and Brenda
Jessica, Vanessa and Brian