Soaking up some rays, enjoying these sunny days! 

Thought it was time again for another update. Not too much different to tell.  Wayne had his third round of chemo on Monday.  He enjoyed a day and a half of riding the steroid high [he gets steroids the day before and day after chemo to help with side effects - it works well, and he loves the extra energy it gives him!], now the crash begins.  Assuming things go as previously, he feels really rough for the next number of days and slowly starts to pick up again next week.  It's a frustrating week for him, he really hates feeling so crappy, but it helps to know it gets better.
He is halfway through the chemo treatments now, and if they stay on schedule he will have his last treatment the end of May.  Initially the doctor was thinking to do some scans after this treatment, but she has decided since he's tolerating the chemo ok that she'll wait till the full course is done and then check things over. [it would have been nice to know how things are going . . .just another example of God keeping things in His hands, forcing us [me!] to trust more and live with patience and faith].  Wayne does have more bloodwork next week and an appointment with the urologist the beginning of April, it will be interesting to hear what he has to say.  The last time we saw him was a couple of months ago and things weren't looking too good then.  Praying for a little more positive report this time!

On Wayne's good days we have been able to enjoy our time together - he has been able to make it to a few of Brian's hockey games, church, evenings out with friends, and lots of  just simple times together with the kids.  You really learn to appreciate the everyday little moments - sitting together for dinner, sharing stories, laughing, talking/helping each other.

One of Wayne's struggles is trying to figure out his "purpose" now.  A big thing for men, who are very much defined by what they do - their work, their tasks.  He may not see it, but I  see what he is doing now, and I tell him often - he is helping us and so many others.  He is still the head of our home, and helps us daily with his lead - by showing his faith, giving us leadership in decisions, and just being there for and with us.  He has had many friends and family visit and call, and I know he has helped them as well - by being what he has always been -  a good listener, an empathetic friend, an example.  He is missing having the energy to do things, to work, but praying he will see that he is 'working' - in a way he wouldn't have been able to before.
We never know how and who we impact in our daily walk, but it is our prayer that if  anything positive can come of all of this it would be that others will take the time to treasure the blessings in their lives.  Their spouse, their children, their family and friends - cherishing every moment and day as the gift that it is,  making memories together, seeing what's really important in this life and praying a little more.

 With the change in season coming, things are changing here too.  Brian's hockey is almost done, making things a little less busy here, but planning to start soccer in another month!  It seems to be good for him to keep some extra activities - to have some routine.  Vanessa is enjoying her high school co-op placement in the hospital, and her easier semester!  She is having to make some big decisions soon regarding her post secondary education.  As some of you may know, Vanessa is planning on doing her BScn to get her RN.  As offers are coming in now, she's having to make that choice of where to go in the fall.  Normally wouldn't be too hard, but with everything going on here she is having to make some tough decisions of where would be best for her.  Praying for guidance with that for her.  Jessica is going into her last month of her co-op placement.  She has been enjoying her work, and its been so nice to have her home.  She will be going back to school at the beginning of May til the end of August. [but hoping for a good schedule so she can be home more on weekends!]  Lots of things happening, but so thankful to be able to share these moments with them.


So that's where we're at now.  Every day brings its own blessings and challenges, but still thankful for every day together.  Thank you again to everyone, for everything!! 

Praying So Hard!!

I thought of this gem of a picture when I was thinking of what to do for this blog!  This is the most handsome little ring bearer ever - it was from 2013, Brian was in our niece Courtney and Ryan's wedding.  He did a great job, and took it all very seriously, as you can tell by his super concentrated face at the ceremony during the prayer.

Well that's where we're at now again - praying so hard.  Wayne had his second chemo treatment yesterday, doing ok so far, but praying hard for an uneventful next few days and weeks [for a change!].

We want to thank you all again for your continued support, love and prayers.  I feel like I'm repeating myself, but we really have felt 'held up' by you all.  When we stop and think of the last two months and everything we've been dealing with we wonder how we still function, how we're not a blubbering mess - but it is through the strength from you all, and our Loving Father in Heaven.  We recently had a prayer service in our church, there are so many struggling with various issues, and we personally see now more than ever how important the power of prayer is.  So thank you all for that, for being here for us, for everything!

Also, as some of you may know, I am taking a leave from work.  This was a very hard decision for me to come to.  I like to think of myself as being strong, being able to handle it all, but repeatedly I've been shown over the last while that I need to step back and just be here for Wayne and our family.  Hoping this is the right decision at this time, but also thankful that we have this option.  We'd also like to thank all of our co-workers and friends at this time who have so generously helped support us - it has helped us out so much!

So here we are, doing life together.  Thankful for each moment, keenly aware in our minds of the reality of this disease, but also fervently hopeful in our hearts of the opportunity for miracles and the power of prayer!

Time for an update again! 
First we'd like to thank Candra for these beautiful pictures, we are loving going through them!  We usually do portraits every 5 years to coincide with our milestone anniversaries - but thought we'd make an exception this year!  These were taken at our home, the Saturday before Wayne started chemo [hard to believe that was just a week and a half ago - seems like forever]

So time to fill you in on the last week and a half!  Monday Feb 6th Wayne went for his first chemo infusion.  Needless to say, we were nervous about it all.  Our fears were quickly eased when we walked in the chemo lounge to be greeted by our nurses - two dear 'hockey moms'!  Go figure, our hockey family can impact this reality - what a blessing!  We had a great 'visit' together,  and Wayne did great!

We got home, and settled in with no significant side effects, just tired out.  But that was not going to be so simple.  By Thursday Wayne was starting to feel some effects from this nasty cold that has been going around.  I was out to Brian's hockey game Thurs evening, when Vanessa called [Dad's stand in nurse!]  to say he had spiked a fever.  Once again our hockey family stepped up and took care of Brian for me, so I could rush home and get Wayne in to the hospital.  [High fevers, and chemo are not a good thing].  We were once again greeted by many familiar faces in ER, blessed again!  A quick IV start,  lots of IV fluids, blood work, and IV antibiotics and then to wait for the fever to break.  It was the wee hours of the morning before Wayne started feeling a little better, and broke his fever.  His blood work was quite concerning to our oncologist though, she was not expecting such a sudden drop in his white blood cells and neutrophils.  They admitted him so they could keep up the IV antibiotics and keep a close eye on his blood work.  The blood work did not improve, but he was feeling a little better each day - getting his strength back, and being fever free.  We were allowed to go home Monday afternoon, after being sure he could tolerate oral antibiotics and starting an injection to try and increase his white count.

So here we are, home again.  There are still good days [times] and not so good days [times].  It is still a constant roller coaster of  feelings and symptoms - as some of you know, we are not the biggest fans of rides, ready for a little smoother path for a bit!!  But we continue on . . .

The end of February he is still scheduled to meet with the oncologist before doing another chemo treatment [Feb 27th].  She will see how is blood work is, and then decide how to proceed.  She is still concerned about the drop in his blood work, but not wanting to investigate too much further til he is more stable.

We continue to be thankful for all the blessings in our lives - we remain in awe of such love and support. 

Wayne is needing some Vitamin D - thought this picture of our DeBummel family soaking up the rays in Cuba would help!!

I never know how to start these things, so guess I'll just jump right in to it.  As a lot of you know, today was Wayne's blood work/follow up appointment day.  We are happy to say he remained conscious for it all!!  His MRI showed some disc protrusion, but no compression of the spinal cord - good news.  His bloodwork showed that his PSA level has dropped from almost 4000 to 983, our oncologist was hoping/guessing it would be about 1000 [ smart lady!]  She was very happy with that drop, it shows that the hormone treatment he has been on is helping.  Wayne's case has been very concerning to her - his young age, sudden onset and severity of spread, raise many questions.  She has been consulting with several other oncologists/ professors / researchers to see what more can be done.  It is a very aggressive cancer, so with much research and discussion she has decided to offer a series of chemotherapy treatments [as well as continue the hormone therapy], to try and slow the progression down.  The chemo will start Feb 6th, and is done here in Owen Sound.  And then comes the dreaded prognosis - at this time she is saying "I have to say it could be months, but I am really wanting to be optimistic and say a year or more"   -    wow, that's a hard one to officially hear, but we are shooting for the 'more'!

In processing this all again, we still say our God is powerful . . . miracles can happen . . . new treatments can come.    But we also know we have been so very blessed to have each other, and our amazing children - so many wonderful times together - trips we've taken, things we've seen and done together, memories made.  And now we will treasure every new moment that we are given, and "just be".

We have also been blessed beyond our comprehension by all the prayers, love, support and generosity of our amazing friends, co-workers, and family.  Thank you all so very much, we are absolutely humbled. 

Wayne found this picture probably a year ago, and was absolutely taken by the image.  A cloud formation that looks like the hand of God, reaching down, "holding the world".   He immediately showed it to me so I could copy and paste it so we could keep it. -
Well, we hold fast to the fact that the hand of our Father in Heaven is keeping hold of us now.

Today was Wayne's biopsy day, things did not go well.  He started the day off earlier than usual for him lately, and right off the bat he "felt a little off".  We got Brian off to school then headed to the hospital, and made it to the Day Surgery waiting room.  Got settled in there, when Wayne suddenly felt faint, got lots of attention from the awesome nurses there, a brief loss of consciousness [for my nurse peeps, they had the phone in hand to call the code], but he started responding again.  A quick IV and fluid bolus, and his vital signs started to improve.  Dr. Middlebrook decided to go ahead with the biopsy once Wayne stabilized.  We got down for the biopsy, but they were unable to get it - too much pain and spasm, so the doctor decided it best not to proceed, since the risk outweighed the benefit.  If for future treatments they are needing a tissue sample, he will put Wayne under general anesthetic for the procedure.

Definitely not how we planned today to go. 
The plan now is to continue with the meds as we are doing [the biopsy wouldn't have changed any treatment anyways], but now they just won't have as clear of answers as far as aggressiveness of the cancer.  We will be relying on blood work results to determine if the meds are working. 

Wayne is doing ok with this all.  Other than today he has been feeling a little better each day.  Another doctor specializing in pain control was here earlier this week, she was great and very reassuring that there are lots of options out there yet to keep Wayne as pain free and still 'functional' as possible.  She tweaked a few of his meds, and his pain is definitely a little less.  He has also been able to be up more each day, able to sit and visit, work on some model cars with Brian and even sit with us at the dinner table sometimes [amazing how you take for granted these little things, but now are so excited when they happen!]  Our family doctor is coming over next week to check in, and help us with all the paperwork - there's so many things to think about now, my mind can be a little jumbled at times!

Our kids are amazing us everyday, we are so blessed to have such caring and strong children. We have our 'sad' times, and that's okay too, we still have each other and we're going to cherish every moment we have.  Like we keep saying "we've still got some memories to make!"

Thanks again to everyone for everything, there is really too many to list, but know that we hold on dearly to every message, thought, prayer and deed.  The generosity of so many continues to overwhelm us!  A special thank you though to my amazing co-workers, you guys are too much!!!, our dear friends Mike and Deanna, and of course the other half of our 'DeBummel' family - there are no words.

Praying for continued strength for us all, and the ability to trust in God as we continue to take this journey one day at a time.  [gotta say that I struggle with that some days, as most of you know I'm a planner, I'm type A, I need to be in the know and in control - there is nothing planned or organized about this!]

With all our Love and deepest thanks

The full story

Together we stand, united in our love for each other and held together by the love of our family and friends and our Heavenly Father.


Well, we never thought we'd be starting a blog - and definitely never thought we'd be doing it to share this type of news with you all.  As most of you have heard by now, Wayne has been diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer which has already metastasized to his bones and lymph glands.

 I'd say I'll back up now and start at the beginning, but no one really knows when the beginning was.  He has never had any real symptoms of anything related to his prostate.  Around the end of November, he had a bad flu and lost a few pounds with it - nothing unusual.  Around that time as well, he was starting to have more pain in his knees - also nothing unusual for him with his type of work and the change in weather.  Just figured he's getting a little older, and feeling things a little more, so took some more over the counter pain/arthritis meds.  The pain didn't ease up, and started in his hips and back as well - also nothing new for him, so went in to see our amazing neighbor physiotherapist.  That seemed to help for a bit, but soon the pain was becoming unbearable - not able to sleep at night, no appetite, and no energy.  He still continued to work as he was able.  He got in to see a doctor at the after hours clinic, she ordered some better drugs, blood work and x-rays, by this time it was a few days till Christmas.
We received some concerning blood work back on the afternoon of Friday Dec 23rd.  [for my medical professional friends - alk phos was just under 3000].  The dr. wanted an urgent MRI done, but with the holidays that didn't happen.  We knew something was up, but Wayne wanted to wait till after Christmas to go in to the hospital [not that it would have made any difference at that point], and we were able to have Christmas with our family and friends.  The morning of Dec 27th I finally convinced Wayne to let me bring him to emerg - whenever the nurses would ask "what brought you in to emerg today", he would quickly reply "my wife!"  Bloodwork and x-rays done quickly, there was a spot found on one of his ribs, and in the abdomen.  STOP - this is not what we were thinking, this must be wrong!!!
  The staff in emerg were great - so much love and support and tears and hugs, I was so happy that most of the nurses on that day were familiar faces and friends!  Then step in the amazing staff from the floor I work, who quickly arranged for a bed for Wayne on our floor.  As well we were blessed to have one of our most thorough and thoughtful internists take on his case.  Dr Becks quickly assessed him and tried his "best to try and find another reason for all this".  The bone scan and full body cat scan were scheduled for the next day - we tried to pray our hardest for positive results, but prayers were hard to come by with so much going through our minds.  We had lots of prayers going up for us from our family, friends and prayer groups though!
 Unfortunately, good results were not meant to be - the bone scan showed "innumerable sites throughout the skeleton - diffuse metastatic disease with a large tumor burden",  the CT also confirmed this as well as several enlarged lymph nodes in the abdomen.  NO, STOP again, not what we want to hear!!
 We were  quickly able to see Dr Anjum, the oncologist and Dr Middlebrook, the urologist - blessed once again, by two very amazing physicians.  Their kindness and compassion were overwhelming. They assured us that they would do everything they could to make Wayne more comfortable, and get him more time.   The next big step was the PSA results, normal for men would be under 20, our oncologist had said she would be happy to see it under 300 - the next point to send up prayers for.  We received the results the next day, Wayne's PSA was just under 4000 - OK, NO MORE, this is too much!!!   We were bracing for the doctors to say go home and get your affairs in order.  no, this can't be real.  
All the medical professionals stepped in very quickly.  He started treatment even before the PSA came back.  He is on an oral anti neoplastic pill which will hopefully slow the progress of the cancer, and they assured him it would help him feel much better too. [ Surgery, radiation or chemo are not an option at this point of the disease process.] They got prescriptions started to cover any anticipated side effect / symptom he would have, so that we could get home and keep him comfortable.  Our dietician gave us lots of instruction and samples to try and get his weight and strength back up [by then he had lost 20 lbs.].  Social work spoke with us, and Dr Huff was consulted to pain management/control.  And needless to say we were surrounded by the love, support and hugs from all our friends on my unit [Being there almost 20 years, Wayne has gotten to know quite a few of my amazing co-workers too!] 
We were also extremely blessed to have our niece Rachel Heyns come and help us with how to tell our children [especially Brian - how do you tell your 9 year old son his Dad has cancer that they can't fix].  Rachel is a 'child life specialist' that works with sick children at McMaster hospital, we were soooo blessed by her insight and faith, words cannot express how thankful we are for her help.
We made it home Friday Dec 30th, it was very hard on Wayne - still in pain, and generally feeling like crap, but it was so good to be home all together.  That evening when Wayne was feeling better we sat the kids down and had our talk [with Rachel's help].  As hard as it was, we did feel a certain peace afterwards.  Brian's reaction was as expected, not able to process much of it.  Rachel assured us this was normal for his age, and he will process things in little bits in his own time. 

So here we are now, one day at a time.  Wayne wakes up every morning, smiles at me and says "another day together".  He is having less pain, only needing breakthrough meds a couple times a day.  He is trying his best to eat lots of calorie/protein rich food [but unfortunately is still losing weight].  He rests lots, but is up sitting more that a couple days ago!  We are trying to keep things as normal as possible for our amazing children.  Its been good to have them all home this week yet, thankful for that.  Brian has a wonderful group of school friends/ hockey gang/cousins, who have been keeping him entertained!  Our girls are also blessed to have such close family/friends/cousins/boyfriends to support them as well.  Jessica is home now from college for a 4 month co-op term, another thing we are thankful for.  Vanessa is finishing off her extremely heavy semester this month, praying things go smoothly for her the next couple weeks, than her work load will be a little better too.

We wanted to do this 'blog' thing to keep you all 'in the loop' with where we're at, but also to let you know what prayer needs we have.  The doctors are holding off on any type of prognosis till they have a few more results.  Wayne does have to go for a biopsy of the prostate yet - it will not change any treatment, but will "grade" the cancer, giving them more of an idea for prognosis.  As well, we have a follow up appointment and blood work Jan 27. The results of the blood work will let us know if the treatment is working or not.  Definitely praying hard for positive results for those two tests!  Pray for continued strength and pain control for Wayne, and for a peace that only God can give.  Also we ask that you lift up our children, Wayne's parents and siblings, and our extended family as we all deal with this new reality.  Some times we can be so strong, and smile and laugh together and sometimes this horrible, harsh reality hits and the tears flow and the stomach knots up - praying for that peace for us all.

Above all, we wanted to write this to say our thanks.  We are completely overwhelmed by the love and support from so many people.  Our hearts and freezer and cupboards runneth over!!  I know I have appreciated each meal [I always have said my favorite meal is one I don't cook! :P]. Every note/message/email fills our hearts, even though we may not respond to each one, just know how much we appreciate hearing from you all.  We have been so blessed from so many - our family, and extended family, friends, neighbors, our co-workers and employers,  and church family - thank you all so much.

We'll keep trying to keep you posted.

With all our love,
Wayne and Brenda
Jessica, Vanessa and Brian